


AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

by SupernaturallyEgocentric



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Depressed Bucky Barnes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturallyEgocentric/pseuds/SupernaturallyEgocentric
Summary: I've been writing Supernatural fanfic for a long time, but am fairly new to writing Marvel. This is going to be a drabble series. For anyone not familiar with drabbles, a drabble is a short piece, limited to a certain number of words. My personal favorite is 100 words per drabble/chapter. The next chapter will pick up where the last left off. I'll do my best to post every day, but no foolish promises.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 6





	1. In the Beginning...

It was just before midnight, raining buckets, and Steve Rogers was running. 

Umpteen times around the National Mall, up, down and around countless miles of wet D.C. streets, on and on and on, as he doggedly, desperately, courted exhaustion and sleep.

__What the hell else could he do? Running was better than staring at the ceiling all night, obsessing about Bucky. Thinking about what those Hydra bastards had been doing to his best friend for more than half a century, worrying about what could be happening to him right now._ _

__Worse, worrying about what Bucky could be _doing _right now._ ___


	2. There Was Light

Exhausted, and in no mood to talk, Steve kept his eyes straight ahead as he ran, ignoring the startled looks of the rare passer-by. 

It mostly worked. Mostly.

Problem was, it simply wasn’t in Steve Rogers to be rude. So when a group of teens up way past their bedtime waylaid him, he couldn’t do anything but smile and nod as they enthusiastically related the account of their adventures the day the aliens attacked New York. 

Truthfully, it was kind of worth it when one of them said she was totally Team Cap and Tony Stark could kiss her ass.


	3. Chapter 3

Laughing, Steve promised to give the girl’s message to Tony. He couldn’t wait to see the look on the cocky billionaire’s face.

His mood lightening for what felt like the first time in months, Steve scrawled his name on a few hastily bared forearms, gave the beaming kids a friendly wave good-bye and beat feet toward home. 

There was a hint of sleet in the rain as he ran now, and Steve increased his pace. He’d take a shower, get warmed up. Then, maybe, if he were lucky, he could manage a couple hours sleep before meeting Sam for breakfast.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve stepped out of the steaming bathroom, rubbing a towel vigorously over his wet hair. Heading for his dresser, he heard a soft, snuffling sound and glanced toward the bed, then rocked to a halt with a startled gasp.

Bucky lay sprawled across the bed, fast asleep, seemingly oblivious to Steve’s presence. 

Stunned, Steve took a hesitant step toward the bed.

Was this real? 

Was he dreaming?

He stared hungrily at Bucky, noting the exhaustion on his friend’s thin face, and the occasional tremor that thrummed over his slumbering body.

Tears in his eyes, Steve drew in a shaky breath.


	5. Chapter 5

“He’s here?” Sam’s mouth dropped open. He pointed toward the closed bedroom door. “Right now? In there?” 

Steve nodded numbly, after two hours of watching Bucky sleep, still caught up in a maelstrom of conflicting emotions. “He’s, uh, sleeping.”

“Sleeping.” Sam looked back at the bedroom door. Steve could almost see the effort the man was putting into not reaching for his weapon.

“Steve – ah, hell.” Sam threw up his hands. “I got no clue what to do with this shit.” 

Steve waited.

After a long minute, Sam looked back at him, face resigned. “So, what are we gonna do?”


	6. Chapter 6

Yawning, Bucky opened his eyes. Turning his head on the pillow, he looked idly around the room.

Oh, yeah. Steve’s place. 

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it fit the little he remembered about Steve. Not a lot of clutter. A couple of books on the bedside table. A sweater slung over the back of a chair. 

Everything else was neatly tucked away. The only thing out of place, a towel pooled in the middle of the floor.

He could hear voices in the other room. 

Bucky wondered, without a great deal of interest, what would happen next.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam perched on the arm of the couch, watching as Steve paced agitatedly around the living room.

“I’m not letting them lock him up,” Steve muttered. “All the stuff he did, it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t like Hydra gave him a choice.” 

“Lotta people aren’t gonna care about that part of it,” Sam said equably. 

“He was a prisoner of war!” Steve protested. “For more than seventy years! He was tortured, _brainwashed _!”__

__“Hey man, preachin’ to the choir,” Sam said with a shrug. “Far as I’m concerned, he should get seventy years of Army backpay and a tickertape parade.”_ _


	8. Chapter 8

He needed to pee. 

Ignoring the throbbing pain in his shoulder and thigh, Bucky cautiously eased himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed until he was sure he wouldn’t fall flat on his face.

At last, feeling somewhat steady, he limped heavily into the bathroom and did his business. He was careful to avoid looking into the mirror above the sink when he washed his hands and, though he wanted a shower, badly, he decided to wait. Stitches.

Then he returned to the bedroom, sitting back down on the bed as he waited for Steve to come back.


	9. Chapter 9

“You gonna tell anyone else he’s here?” Sam asked.

Steve shot him a defensive look. “Like who?”

Sam grinned. “Well, you might as well tell Nat right off. She’s gonna find out anyway.”

Steve dropped into the recliner. “Hell.” 

“Don’t sweat it. Not like Nat’s gonna go all Big Brother on you. She might have a history with him, but she knows how to keep a secret.”

“Is she already back from Belgrade?”

“Last night.”

Steve got up and started to pace again, then stopped abruptly and looked toward the bedroom..

Sam rose. “What?”

“Bucky,” Steve said softly. “He’s awake.”


	10. Chapter 10

The door opened and Steve came in.

Bucky stood, a little too quickly. He wavered, almost falling back onto the bed before recovering his balance. He gave Steve a little nod. 

“Hey, Stevie.”

Tears in his eyes, Steve rushed across the room and grabbed Bucky in a hard hug. 

Bucky managed not to cry out, the hug hurt his shoulder like a son-of-a-bitch, but his quickly indrawn breath alerted Steve and the big man drew back slightly, looking Bucky over anxiously.

“What’s wrong? Are you injured?” 

“Turns out some cops shoot really well.” Bucky shrugged his not-hurting-like-hell shoulder. “Not important."


	11. Chapter 11

“Of course it matters!” Steve went into his indignant mother hen mode but, with some effort, managed to avoid falling into a full-on rant. 

“We’ve been looking for you,” he finally said. “All over the place.”

“I know.” Bucky’s smile was small and tired, but real. “You’ve been a total pain in my ass.”

Steve’s answering grin was smug. “Well, it got you here, so I’m not going to apologize.” 

Sam poked his head cautiously through the bedroom door.

“Hey, man, since we’re not going out for breakfast, I’m gonna see what I can dig up out of your fridge.”


	12. Chapter 12

Rustling up scrambled eggs, bacon and flapjacks, Sam tried to keep an eye on Bucky without _looking _like he was keeping an eye on Bucky.__

__While it was true the ex-Winter Soldier didn’t show any signs of going postal and trying to off everyone in sight, the man had his reputation for a reason. No way Sam was letting Steve, or himself, get killed if Barnes’ switch got flipped._ _

__Rather than homicidal, though, it seemed to Sam that Barnes was feeling pretty down in the mouth._ _

__Not too surprising, he thought, considering the Hydra brain scramble Bucky'd been put through._ _


	13. Chapter 13

Breakfast was a bust. 

Five minutes after they sat down at the table, an awkward silence had fallen that even Sam couldn’t break through.

Bucky didn’t eat, just pushed his food around his plate and tried to avoid Steve’s eyes. Steve, for his part, did manage a few bites, in between furtive glances at Bucky. 

Sam got tired of it fast. Finally, exasperated, he pushed back his plate. “Okay, that’s it.” 

“What?” Steve said, startled.

“If you’re not gonna ask him, I sure will.” Sam looked at Bucky, who stared back warily. “Dude, what the hell are you doing here?”


	14. Chapter 14

At the abrupt question, Steve made a sudden movement, as if to protest, then subsided. Settling back in his chair, he sent a hard stare Sam’s way. 

Unperturbed, Sam kept his eyes on Bucky, waiting for an answer.

Bucky just stared back at Sam, his expression pensive, and somewhat bitter. 

“You aren’t the only ones looking for me. There’s a target on my back big enough to see from space.” He grimaced. “I keep moving, but they keep finding me. And when they do…” 

“I –” Bucky turned to Steve, his voice desperate, entreating. “I’m _tired _of killing people, Stevie.”__


	15. Chapter 15

The moment the words fell out of his mouth, Bucky regretted them. Not because they weren’t true, but him acting like a whiny bitch wasn’t fun for anyone, least of all Steve.

Face impassive, he pushed abruptly back from the table and stood. To go where, he had no idea, he was done running, but it was clear that coming here had been misguided, and damned stupid. 

Seriously, who the hell was he kidding? After all he’d done, the Winter Soldier didn’t deserve help. He deserved a bullet. Or a jail cell.

“This was a bad idea,” Bucky said aloud.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve paled. “Bucky, no –”

Sam, seeing the need for flight that was seconds away from taking Barnes right the hell out of here, broke in.

“No, man,” he said firmly. “This is _exactly _where you need to be. If Shield or the cops find you, you’re probably looking at prison. If Hydra finds you…” He shrugged, not needing to state the obvious. “It’s only a matter of time.”__

__Face wooden, Bucky sat back down, knowing Sam was right._ _

__Whether or not this would work didn’t matter. It was the only chance he had of staying out of Hydra’s hands._ _


	17. Chapter 17

The few hours of rest he’d had earlier on Steve’s bed hadn’t done anything but point out how much more sleep Bucky needed. 

So, while Steve and Sam brainstormed on how to bring the Winter Soldier safely into the Avengers fold, Bucky dozed in and out of dreamless sleep on the couch, full of ibuprofen and the quart of apple juice Steve had forced on him. 

Forget about everything else right now, Bucky thought fuzzily. Sam had been right. The important thing now was staying out of Hydra’s hands. 

And finding someone to get this damned metal arm off him.


	18. Chapter 18

The apartment was dark and quiet. Bucky could hear the sound of Steve’s breathing from the bedroom. But there was something… 

Opening his eyes, he stared into the face of the Black Widow. 

Squatting easily in front of the couch, she studied him curiously. “Do you remember me?”

“Red Room,” he answered, studying her right back. “You are the last.”

A shadow fell over her face, quickly gone. She nodded. “The last.”

Not knowing if she would accept an apology for his part in her past, but knowing that he wanted, needed, to make it, Bucky said quietly, “I’m sorry.”


	19. Chapter 19

When Steve woke, he lay motionless in bed for a few seconds, trying to figure out why today felt different. 

Holy crap. 

_Bucky _.__

__Springing out of bed, he padded to the bedroom door and peeked out into the living room. The couch was empty._ _

__A bubble of panic rising in his stomach, he checked the bathroom and his office._ _

__Nothing._ _

__Then he heard the sound of voices and headed for the kitchen._ _

__Bucky sat at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. Leaning casually against the kitchen counter, Natasha._ _

__Steve sighed. “Hey, Nat.”_ _

__She smiled, green eyes amused. “Hey, sleepyhead.”_ _


	20. Chapter 20

Moving to the stove, Nat poured out a cup of coffee and handed it to Steve. “About time you woke up.” 

Steve shrugged. An eye on Bucky, he took a big swallow of coffee and sat down opposite his friend. “You okay?” he asked quietly. 

Bucky nodded, eyes flicking to Nat as she dropped down on the chair between them. 

Grinning impudently, she snagged an apple from the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table. “We’re old friends, aren’t we, Barnes?”

His mouth curved in a slight smile. “Apart from the couple times I tried to kill you.”


	21. Chapter 21

Being in Steve’s apartment felt surreal, but Bucky was holding it together pretty well. 

At least, he thought he was. 

It felt good, safe, to just be there, listening to Steve and Nat as they talked about whatever. A definite change from the crazy train he’d been riding since Shield had been brought down. 

The peace wouldn’t last, though. It never did. 

Ever since his memories of the last seventy years had started trickling back, he'd been constantly pinballing between two extremes. 

Wanting to rip the heads off every Hydra bastard in existence.

Or just fall back into sleep forever.


	22. Chapter 22

Nat poked Bucky in the shoulder. He jerked away, startled. 

“Pay attention,” she said. “I figured out you were here, and it took me, what, less than twenty-four hours? Hydra’s going to show up, sooner or later.”

“She’s right, Buck,” Steve said grimly.

Bucky stared between the two of them, confused. Were they going to kick him out? Turn him in? He wouldn’t have thought it of Stevie, but people changed. Bucky certainly had. 

“Are you going to turn me in?” he finally asked.

Steve was aghast. “Bucky –"

“The safest place for you is Stark Tower,” Nat broke in.


	23. Chapter 23

Bucky said nothing, trying to think. 

Going anywhere near Tony Stark was a very bad idea, his slowly re-emerging memories made that pretty clear. If the billionaire ever found out that the Winter Soldier had killed Howard and Maria Stark, there was no way Bucky would escape the Iron Man’s wrath.

Steve hurried to fill the somewhat awkward silence. “You wouldn’t be on your own, Buck. I’ll go, too. Tony’s been trying to get me to move to New York City for a while. Stark Tower is kind of Avenger Central.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “More like Frat Boy Central.”


	24. Chapter 24

There was a quick, hard knock on the front door. 

Bucky was instantly on his feet, followed closely by Steve and Nat. 

“It’s probably just Sam.” Steve gave Nat a look, a clear entreaty for her to stay with Bucky and made a quick exit from the kitchen.

“What bothers you about Stark Tower?” Nat asked immediately. 

Bucky flinched and dropped his gaze. 

_A big car barreling down a lonely dark road. Bucky swings out onto the road and, speeding his motorcycle up beside the car, levels his pistol at the driver and fires. ___

__Nat’s eyes widened with sudden realization._ _


	25. Chapter 25

Footsteps approached the kitchen. Nat took a quick step toward Bucky and touched his arm. When he raised his eyes to hers, she placed a finger across his lips, and gave her head a little shake.

Steve came into the kitchen, Sam close behind him. Both men looked grim.

“We got trouble,” Steve said tersely. “Sam just did a flyover and we’ve got Hydra surrounding the building.”

“You sure they’re Hydra?” Nat asked. “Not police, or feds?”

“Pretty sure,” Sam answered. “The kind of weaponry they’re carrying, no way they’re cops.”

Without a word, Bucky started for the kitchen door.


	26. Chapter 26

Steve stepped in front of him. 

“You’re not leaving, Bucky. At least, not on your own.” 

“Steve, when Hydra comes in here, they’re not going to care about collateral damage,” Bucky said sharply. “You’re living in a building full of civilians.” He blew out an agitated breath. “I was an idiot coming here.” 

“You can’t keep running, you said it yourself,” Steve protested. “And you can’t do it alone, not anymore. Not unless you want to end up in jail, or back with Hydra.” 

“I vote for the roof,” Sam interrupted. “It’s clear now, but damned sure not for long.”


	27. Chapter 27

“It’s too damn quiet in there.” The Hydra team leader touched his earpiece. “Anyone got eyes or ears on these guys?”

There was a series of negative replies. 

“Shit.” The man blew out an angry breath. “Either they’re gone, or they found the bug.”

No one said anything. He knew some of them were hoping the apartment was empty. Going up against the Asset had been bad enough. Adding the Avengers into the mix -- some of his men wouldn’t be coming back.

Screw it.

“Remember, we need the Asset alive. Kill everyone else,” he said harshly. “Move in!”


	28. Chapter 28

The four looked over the side of the roof at the street ten stories below. 

“What’s the plan?” Sam asked Steve.

“No plan. The building next door is close enough.”

“Close enough for what?” Sam groaned. “Oh, man, don’t tell me I have to fly your heavy asses over there. Can’t we just fight?”

“Love to,” said Nat. “But we can’t.” She gestured at Bucky. He stared back, unblinking.

“We don’t know if these guys have his control words,” Nat said grimly. “And if we have to fight the Winter Soldier on top of Hydra, I might break a nail.”


	29. Chapter 29

Sam released Bucky a few feet above the roof of the building next to Steve’s. Hitting the hard surface, Bucky did a lithe tuck and roll, coming easily to his feet as the Falcon swooped back to get the others.

Listening, he could hear nothing but wind and the faint sound of traffic from the street below. Whatever they were doing, Hydra was doing it quietly. 

On the heels of that thought, the door to the roof crashed open and a harsh voice shouted, “желаниe!*”

Bucky spun, reaching for his gun as the second word rang through the air.

“Pжавый!**”

\-------------------------  
*Longing  
**Rusted


End file.
